The Rules Of Society Are Making Us Conform


The socialization process starts soon after birth and continues through childhood, youth, and your whole life. It is a process of adjustment and accepting society’s culture and values.

People are born in different parts of the world, environments, places, and societies. Something that is normal to you is maybe not normal for somebody else to do.

It is okay to shake hands when you meet someone in America or Europe, but it is not practiced in Japan. Loyalty, respect, and obedience are part of Japanese culture so when a child grows up he knows how to behave in his environment.

The socialization process is needed for a person to learn how to speak, behave and act. He needs it so he can be accepted in society. The mentioned process has many elements that teach us socialization.

Think about traffic rules, semaphore and social norms as being dressed and not to harm anyone. We know 3 socialization stages and a few factors that have an impact on us. Let’s see which are they and how they affect us.

Primary socialization

Primary socialization starts soon after birth and is vital for further socialization processes. When a child is born, his parents are first who teach him socialization.

He starts to feel, smell, touch, listen and see the world around him. Parents and relatives who are teaching baby the basics are critical in the development of his personality. He starts to imitate parents, their habits and knowing the first rules.

Parents are the greatest teachers

The family has the most crucial role in the baby’s life. In general, a baby can be raised in an ordinary family that is aware of their role in his life or in a family that doesn’t give so much attention to him or showing bad examples that he will imitate and transform in the future.

The carrying family will plan the baby’s future and will focus on his development and a good childhood. They will teach him the difference between good and bad and pay attention to his reactions.

Parents that want the best for their child will show him that he can open many doors in life with the right attitude. This type of parent focuses on values like love, friendship, loyalty, honesty, carrying, helping, no selfishness, self-esteem to show him the right way of living. A child will accept these values and show it to other kids when they will play together and know the world.

Every healthy grown-up can be a parent but does he know how big his obligation to a new human being is? Does he know that he will be a big influence on his future? Not everyone is living in good circumstances, this is a fact. A baby can be born in a family that is not balanced and have a bad influence on his development and future.

Developing fear

Let us see an example. We have family members that have bad relationships and argue a lot. A child hears and sees arguing and lives in tension. He develops emotion that is the most destructive and it is fear.


Fear causes that our body and brain doesn’t operate normally. Constant fear can damage our health; we can get sick physically or mentally. A child like this can choose his way to handle these situations. He can run away, hang out with the wrong people and develop bad habits (addictions), harm himself or others, etc.

Imitating bad habits

Fear, escape, and bad health are the first state. Even more dangerous is the fact that a kid can transform the same habits and patterns on his life and family that he will have.

The majority of children that lived in bad circumstances and families have issues later in life because they saw a reputation of bad things, so they see it as normal. I say the majority; some people lived in bad environments but they went away and re-socialized and succeed.

Fear is a child’s worst enemy. If a kid is afraid of saying something, showing, participating, asking or anything that involves his free will for a long time then he could develop a powerful block that can stop him from succeeding in life.

Nothing that is done by force and has negative emotions is good for a kid in the growth and development of his personality. It can mark his whole life so it is crucial for parents to know that they are the ones that will show their children the right path to follow.

Teaching positivity

Teaching children positivity is the best approach parents can choose because someday they will appreciate your hard work and will show you gratitude. If you are a parent, be a good example to your child, let him be proud to have you as his father or the mother.

Show them life possibilities and doors that can be opened if they work hard for something that they want badly. Teach them how money is needed for quality life and that it must be earned. Never ever say to them: “Money is evil, or money spoils people.”

Show them a reality but always with positivity. Teach them how to help individuals in need so they will receive help back. Teach them things that you want your child to receive, and you will do the best job as a parent.

Secondary socialization stage

Secondary socialization is formal socialization that starts when a kid goes to a school and visits other institutions like churches, educational associations, sports clubs, and others.

Now, he will meet his peers and other people like school teachers, a dentist, a priest, a karate teacher, a trumpet teacher, etc. Now, these people will be like his parents just in another environment.

In the primary socialization process, a child encounters first rules and limitations by his parents. When he is old enough, he will know the society and its rules.

A school and the institutions he will visit have their regulations that should be obeyed. He will learn that he should respect them or else his parents will be invited to the school for a meeting.

The school teaches a kid to listen, to behave, to do their homework, to obey and to respect the teacher. I think that we all can agree that every child should learn some socialization rules and obey them or else it would be chaos, right?

The first limitation: Time

But we should expose the limitations that will affect a child later in his life. The first limitation is time. This is the first time that a kid knows how important the clock is and to be in school on time.

time limitation

The second limitation: Listening and obeying

The second limitation is obeying and listening to the teacher. When a teacher speaks children should be quiet and when they are asked something they should answer. The teacher is an authority who should be obeyed and respected.

The third limitation: Grades

The third limitation are grades. The child is taught that he must learn so he will pass the tests and finish school. But I think grades are not the right indicator of knowledge because everyone can learn the same test just at a different time (somebody needs more time and some less).

Do schools have a good education system?

I think that some schools have the wrong education system that is made by the state. Scholl’s system that is based on theory doesn’t let a kid develop vital skills like being creative, innovative and having a sense of self-initiative.

These skills are needed for a child to have healthy self-esteem and to develop. Letting him have the freedom to create and develop his skills means letting him find the real potential that he can take advantage of.

It is recommended that kid paints, sings, dances as he wants. If you have a child let him do these things by his way. Life isn’t meant to be limited and analyzed; it is supposed to be creative and fun.

Third socialization stage

When a person is an adult he goes through the third socialization stage; going to work. A person sends an application that must be about the firm’s requirements, and if he is appropriate for them, he will be invited to a job interview.

Obeying the rules of the organization

If a person is hired first, he must know the rules that the organization is operating with. He will get an identification card that he will use for identification first in the morning and when he will leave the building.

Every organization has rules that employers must obey, be on time to the work office, respect limited time for lunch, do exactly what boss tells you, don’t argue with your co-workers and so on.

But people have loans and have to pay bills so they will swallow their dignity and work for change.

After a hard day working, an employee will come home exhausted so he will eat his dinner, sit in front of the TV and his day will be over soon. Is this the life that he deserves?

What about some humanity and happiness in life? Do we want to be slaves to the elite that make the rules?

Find your desires and make your own rules

As you see, from the beginning we are taught to obey the rules of society. But did you think about yourself and your desires? Do you like going to work that you don’t like?

Are you sick of your co-worker who just uses people? Do you work for a little amount of money that hardly pays bills? Well, you have the choice to make changes right now.

Even if you have an awesome boss, co-workers, and a good paycheck, do you like doing a job that you don’t enjoy?
Ask yourself if you make the rules or you live by someone else’s rules?

About Vania Pinteric 351 Articles
I am a young woman who has an interest in what nature has to offer. With the proper mindset and actions, you can heal your body and stay healthy. I am giving you solutions about different health issues that you could face. Feel free to explore the site and find the help you need.

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